Pretender No More

Yesterday we hosted some people at the house to celebrate Ted’s birthday. It was small and casual. We served wine and pie. The wine was because Me. The pie was because Ted is not a cake guy. Apparently I have done a pretty good job of Pretending I can do anything because everyone was surprised to learn I had not baked the pies. The thing is, I SUCK at crusts. Plus it was too hot to turn the oven on. But mostly, I suck at crusts. So when you can order one and pick it up an hour before the festivities, why stress out and make a mess that has to be cleaned up and then be disappointed by the end result?

Anyway, when I explained all this to the crowd, I definitely got the “What? But you are good at everything!!” Sorry folks, no. And here’s the deal: I have realized that I can Pretend no more.

  • I am Terrible and No Good at pastry-baking of any kind. And don’t enjoy it.
  • I Hate canning food.* Even though I Love eating the product. I really hate the process.
  • I am Terrible and No Good at gardening/landscaping/planting-of-any-kind. And most importantly I Don’t Enjoy those things either.
  • I Hate sewing. It stresses me out.
  • I love knitting, but it hurts my hand if I do it for more than a few minutes. So I won’t abuse my body for the sake of an item I could buy already made that will Cost Less than the yarn I would need to make it myself.
  • I love love love cooking huge yummy meals, but Loathe with every fiber of my being Deciding What to cook for the meal. So I have no qualms about paying others to prepare meal plans or recipes or even send me all the ingredients packaged up on my doorstep.

What it comes down to is I won’t pretend anymore. I am not a Maven of All Things and I don’t want to be. I do my best at things that give me joy or satisfaction and I just can’t be bothered with the rest.

*Now all those canning jars make superb wine glasses.


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